Aug. 10th, 2012

spectromagic: (but why is all the hunny gone?)
I have exactly one week left before I leave for Florida, and my nerves have fully kicked in. I realize I have so much left to do here in Texas before we leave on the 17th (at 3:00am, I should add - that's been my bedtime the past couple of weeks so that should work out nicely). I realize now I've also wasted a good deal of time this summer with personal things, not that the personal things could be helped all that much. But I should have done so much more with my family and friends, paid more attention to my dog, given everyone more hugs.

My nephew came up to me today and asked if I was really leaving in only a week and I told him yes, and he clung to me and begged me not to leave because it would "break his heart forever".

That pretty much broke my heart into a thousand pieces, and I realize just how much I'm going to miss him. So I definitely need to plan something special to do with him right before I leave, and make sure to plan a lot of video chats while I'm gone.

I'm worried about my dog dying while I'm away, but I think I've come to terms with the fact that there's nothing anyone can do at this point. She's old and clearly not very healthy, and if she passes, I will feel incredibly guilty for not being there with her and it's just something I'll have to sort through on my own and learn to get past.

I need to go back to focusing on things I'm excited about for this opportunity, like meeting my amazing new roommates, gaining independence finally, going to the parks whenever I have the free time, going to the Halloween Parties, going to the Horror Nights at Hollywood Studio for Halloween, the Christmas decorations all over WDW. I'm sad I won't be with my family for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and know I'll be really down during both holidays, but also know I'll make a makeshift family while I'm there and I won't be the only one feeling down and lonely during the holidays.

I know that I'm older than most people doing this program, as the general age is 18-22. But I've met at least 100 other people 25 and older that are doing the program, and I'm excited to meet the oldest woman doing it: she's 68 and a mother of 4 and a grandmother, and her husband passed away 4 years ago so she decided to go back to college and then decided to do this program. I think it's amazing that she's doing this, and really hope to get to know her better.

I need to finish packing all of my clothes, but it's pretty difficult to shove everything into one space bag. It's a giant Jumbo space bag so it all should fit but I have too many clothes. Which really means I need to go through all of it and eliminate what I don't think I'll actually wear. Especially with my size going up and down right now, though, I need to bring a big variety of stuff.

Anyway, if you got through all of that, you deserve a sticker or a gold star or something.

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